Thursday, October 06, 2011

Insanity...how I lost control of the trading day.


I think insanity runs in my family. It's my only explanation for choosing to trade forex and continue to do it for these last couple of years without a nett positive year! (I am quite embarrassed to put down how long I have been doing this)

After 2 weeks of very good and disciplined trading; and following all the rules and identifying setups (Gosh! Horrors - I actually planned a trade - many trades in fact). I killed it all.
With one fell swoop, I was fulfilling a self-fulfilling prophecy where I lose all my wins in a day of bad trading.

I know what caused it....I had been doing well and I thought I was invincible. I thought I could trust myself to click on the planned stop loss exit when I had to. Well, I had been doing that for the last few weeks. Tonight shouldn't be any different - or so I thought.

Until....are you ready for it? I was long $EURUSD after it had popped out just over Fib 23. Half and hour into the trade, I was suddenly mesmerized by these very long 10 or 20pip 1 minute candle. Darn those big candles! Those candles are virtually hypnotic especially if they are going against you. 

While this was happening, I still had control of my senses - honest - I could still think and I had control of my hands and fingers, arms and legs. But I was physically frozen there thinking....Hey, yeah....it's gonna turn back. Wait...it's turning...nope..it's not. It's like a game of "He loves, he loves me not". Only I think that game is easier in real life. Either he loves you or he does not.

Hhhmmm...I digress, I think I may be trying to avoid the subject of talking about the Glorious Trade. I think I will coin today's trade...The "Glorious" Trade. Note the quotation marks.

I thought I had figured out the market. Guilty as charged.  Invincible super-trader-mom. I think I may have been planning to get my super-hero-trading costume out at the back of my mind. Could be because I watched Captain America this week and I must have been thinking.....Gee...they managed to change an 80 pound weakling into Cap America!!! I think it is happening to me....I am so feeling the love. Ahem.

Yeah....I felt the love alright, I felt all of those "wonderful" 200 pips do an extended hit-and-run and then come over to check if I was still breathing. And then I thought I heard them say:

Sayonara or Adios Muchachos or Adieu or 再见o We will meet again in another trading lifetime. snicker, snicker..nudge-nudge wink-wink. Exit Stage Left.


You get the idea. By the way - did you know that it is a well-known fact that Pips-That-Leave-Your-Trading-Account are fluent in multiple languages.

But there is silver-lining, nah, gotcha... there isn't one. I did say goodbye to those pips. As I write, $EURUSD moved up to 1.3427 - that is another 50 pips more than where I exited. Does it make me feel any better? Nah, not really - says Not-So-super-tradermom as she picks herself up from the floor and shakes off the Pip-dust left behind. 

A small consolation is that I did not go back in to take a revenge trade. I usually do - usually immediately. Maybe some of that discipline fairy-dust is rubbing off. And I did maintain the trader's credo of:  "At least I live to fight another day"

Well, here is the "beautiful" chart from "The "Glorious" Trade".

I am actually documenting my mistakes. It really does make me blush in total embarrassment. It does not make me feel any better but at least I can come back here and painfully re-visit my work in all its glory. (Although, infamy is not a good enough reason to continue down the well-trodden path of account draw-downs)

On that note, I think it is time to dive into a whole bath-tub full of beer or maybe a whole bath-tub full of my favorite White Russian...double the vodka Mr. Bartender. Maybe in a couple of days, I will let you know if soaking trading woes in alcohol make them taste less painful.

Happy Trading!